mean what you say

so.......

someone asked me to do something quite some time ago.  i double checked, as it was an unusual request for the person in question (just to make sure i understood correctly)

after i did what the person asked, i heard via the grapevine that the person told people that it was never what she "meant" for me to do.

when i heard this, i was very confused.  i contacted the person and asked her how it is possible that i checked twice and still misunderstood very clear instructions.  i was simply dismissed.

so, i have been pondering this for almost a year...  people and the things they SAY while MEANING something else.

i started wondering if i also did it.  and i realised that i do.  i have a very good friend who lives in a different town.  when i was going on a business trip to her town, i mentioned that i would pop in a few weeks before my trip.  my INTENTION was to see her.  of course things turned out very differently and i simply did not see her - but neither did i contact her before i went on the trip to say i won't be able to make it, or afterwards - i had simply forgotten.

so, i never intended to hurt her, but i did.

because she is a good friend, she made me aware of this.  i am so grateful that she did do this, as i believe we can't always SEE ourselves and our actions the way they come across.  i was not offended in the least.  truth, i believe, although it hurts sometimes, is always liberating.

which brings me back to saying what you mean.  i do think my audience is mostly made up of females.

we like to have a chat.  we are also pretty much ruled by our emotions.  today we are happy and loving.  tomorrow we are feeling moody and miserable.  today we want to be with everyone.  tomorrow we want to be left alone.  today i want to travel the world and i phone all my friends and make them check their calendars and convince their husbands we are all going on a "road trip" and tomorrow i don't want to leave my house and blame one friend who won't "fit in"... instead of saying that i was ruled by my emotions the day before...

i am not big on change.  i am pretty much always the same.  i live in a small town where nothing changes and if it does, it happens so gradually that you don't even notice it.  i don't like you today and tomorrow a "better" friend comes along and i forget all about you.  i don't tell you today that i like meat and tomorrow i tell someone else i am a vegetarian because they are one and i don't want them to judge me because i eat meat...  if they don't like me because of that, it is sad, but i am not going to lose sleep over it.

i hope you get the point.

we are all different.  yes, indeed.  but the saying that there are 3 versions of the truth is actually a lie.

there is only one version.  THE TRUTH.  simple facts, not colored by emotion, circumstances etc.

oh, and please don't make other people look bad to make yourself look good...  just accept responsibility for your YES and NO words.  i am really trying to do that in my own life.  i say A LOT of things - i get misquoted all the time.  but i have decided to accept it if i said something that was wrong or hurtful and NOT look for excuses.

if i say SORRY and the other person chooses to not forgive me - that is their burden to carry.  i am also, while typing this, painfully aware of how vulnerable this post makes me.  i know that i say things that i MEAN well and are taken out of context - but i still SAID them.  for that i have to take responsibility.

i think what my friend did - to contact me and tell me straight that i hurt her - took lots of guts.  i admire her so much.  

i see people airing dirty laundry on social media ALL the time, badmouthing each other at get togethers etc - and i cringe.

if, perhaps, this applies to you - please don't do that.

and if i have offended anyone reading this, by saying something hurtful (even without intent) - i would like to apologize.  being human is NOT an excuse.  i now know that.

hope you all have a wonderful week.

xxxxxxxxxx

ps:  i am known for saying YES to everything ANYONE asks me - but always with a caveat:

you have to REMIND me!  ♥