big decisions..............

i have been overwhelmed the past few weeks by LIFE. everything going on and all the decisions i have to make. i have decided to take a break and take some STOCK. i read this morning in Matthew 14 how Jesus made his disciples get back into the boat after feeding the masses and cross to the other side of the lake. He went up into the hills by HIMSELF to pray. i realised that i had been so busy with things and people the last few weeks, that i have lost track of what is really important - my quality of life and my inner peace. it has been a mad rush at the shop and at work, as well as home - visitors coming and going and no time really to just breathe. my last visior left this morning and now i am all alone. my husband is out of town for work, and i made some time today to reflect, and make a few hard decisions. when i bought the shop, i promised myself that i would not allow it to control my life. i had a friend who has a scrapbook shop, and it absolutely controls her life. she works 7 days a week and is obsessed with the business. i watched her and i told myself that i would never be like that. during the last few months i have been trying to put my own stamp on the business and i poured all of myself into it. i spent every night on the internet looking for stock that is special, and the South African Scrapbook/Stamping market has not been exposed to yet. some went off well, some less so. i have started a stamping club in my town to expose the ladies to stamping, and also to try and stamp myself ( this is after hours on a wednesday night). weekends i worked and then i researched the internet some more and tried to do a layout/card or two. i taught classes until i could feel i was over extended, and started getting people to come and teach. i was hoping to have my online shop up and running by end of July as well. the reality of what it entailed only hit me about 10 days ago when i realised that i would have to take over 6000 pictures myself, type up every bit of info of the products etc etc, and i realised that i did not even know if i wanted all the products on the website - what if i don't want to stock it anymore? when would i have time to update the site? the mere thought of the task daunted me and i felt a tightening in my chest every time i thought of the fact that i have to take at least a month off work at both the shop and my real job, to take photos, then type up the info and send it to the webdesigner. i lay in bed last night and i thought to myself - why do i want to do this to myself? do i have to do everything NOW? the shop is supposed to be FUN. it is supposed to be a creative place filled with beautiful things and creativity. for me too. now it was just a business and i was thinking of capturing a market share that i need, but i can't handle at this stage. and i had to admit it to myself - i was in too deep. i had to stop something. so, i decided to put the online shop on hold indefinately. i am still finding my niche in the South African market, and deciding what i want to specialise in. i believe that the shops in South Africa could compliment each other - there is such a vast variety of products in the world of our craft, that even if every store in South Africa carried 30 different lines, we would still not carry all of them! people tell you what they think you should stock - you just can't stock everything. you have to draw the line SOMEWHERE. i need to be able to also have a life. money is not worth losing my quality of life over, and i have been feeling my priorities shift and losing my inner peace, day by day. so, i am hoping to get back to scrapping and cardmaking over weekends and in the evenings after work, get some balance back in my life and first build the physical shop into what i envision it to be. i will then re-evaluate the possibility of an online shop. at this stage i have a lot of clients that send email orders or phone in for goods anyway, and it keeps us quite busy getting those orders together. bigger is not always better, and i do not want to lose the personal touch i feel is so important in my shop. hope it makes sense................................